Just a thing I like to do

So there are a few things that I feel like I should be ashamed of, but somehow lack the capacity to be ashamed. One of them is the fact that I like sex. I enjoy having it, I enjoy the pursuit of it, and even when it's not great it's still a story I can tell. There are a few good ones. The ones that weren't so good make for a fantastic story though. Like that micropenis. Or when a circus guy told me that I should let him eat me out because he was a Sagittarius and it would be amazing.

I do wish I'd started having penetrative sex earlier. I don't know why I was so adamant to hold on for a special someone as the first, considering that I no longer speak to them. But that's going to change. I'm going to (reasonably) play the single girl now, and enjoy it damn it! 

Here's a map of the different nationalities I've had sex with/messed around with. Granted, I met a good amount of them when I was living in New Zealand, but I'm slowly meeting more people living here. I think that's one of the best things that have happened this year. Being single, reclaiming my independence and personality and being happy with the decisions I make. Not having to dim my light to make someone else more comfortable. Not having to change my perspectives or compromise my values in the fears that someone will walk because I have them. 

That includes having sex! I can't believe I let myself go this long without really exploring what sex could be like. I had actually resigned myself to a future where I would have had sex with just one person - but thank fuck that never happened. That would have been one of the worst things I could have ever done for myself. 

And so one of the best was to go out there and fuck whoever I want to! Online dating apps have certainly made it much easier to find people who are looking for the same thing.  The map was just a handy way to keep track of my conquests, and it's a good one to look back on to occasionally see if any patterns emerge or if there is a tendency that I want to explore further. 

I've definitely fucked a lot of people. I passed the double digit mark earlier this year, and there is always something coming up within a few weeks of each other. It seems as if I am making up for six years of bad sex all in one go, and the variety of it is absolutely wonderful. 

As it stands, I have fucked someone from every populated continent. I think I achieved that when I met up with E in Nagoya. To be quite fair though, E was easily the most tender lover I've had so far. The way he touched me, and cradled my face in his hands while he kissed me, to the way he held my hands above my head... I don't think I understood what it meant to be made love to until I met him. We are going to see each other in Tokyo this July when I go to Yuki's wedding, and I am looking forward to showing off in a my formal best and having him enjoy the view. 

A few other notable mentions: 

There was A from Brazil. Holy fuck this guy. He has a great cock, I love his swagger and he is just a filthy talker as I am. He knows he's got a big cock and he isn't afraid to use it. I love that he doesn't hesitate to crack me across the face, and I know that he is well keen to fuck me in the ass. I also love that he calls just to make me watch him jerk off, and that he always shoots such a big load on the floor. Best part of all of this is that he doesn't live so far away, and so it is not so hard to set up a booty call. 

K was the youngest person I've had sex with. He was eager and knew his way around eating a pussy, always making sure I was wet enough before he came into me. I also love that he made a point of putting on Mr Brightside on his phone, and we made out to that song. I think it was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me, playing my favourite songs for me to sing to. I don't think I will ever listen to Mr Brightside the same way again. 

H was the weirdest one. He tries to talk dirty but it came out a bit odd coming from him. Definitely a turnoff. 

S from France had the biggest damn cock I have ever had. It HURT to fuck him, and I don't think I will ever let anything that big near me again. He was the final nail in the coffin; I am officially done with French men. 

M from Italy is always a good standby. It is always lovely to have sex with him, and he always enjoys looking at my face as he fucks me. I think it is not a good thing that I kept thinking of E though the last time M came to visit. 

St from Denmark was a real sweetie. I love that he stopped in the middle of sex to smile at me and say "We are good at this." It's a shame he won't be around for much longer, it would have been wonderful to explore having sex with him a bit more. I also like how he squishes my cheeks in one hand as we kiss. 

J from Oxford in the UK was the most mentally stimulating one. We spent the whole weekend binging the Lord of the Rings (director's cut!), while having good conversation, geeking out over choir and doing the Guardian crossword. I got a very brief glimpse of what it might be to date someone who makes my mind light up, and my body positively hum at the same time. It doesn't hurt either that he is cute (even if he is a ginger, both upstairs and down) and that he had a nicely sized cock that felt really good. And that he made me squirt. 

I'm definitely looking forward to A from the US next month. We've been messaging for a few months now, and we talk when we get the chance. I am definitely already half in love with his dog. He seems to be a freak in the sheets, just as much as I am, and a sucker for PDA so already I can see that we are going to have a good time. 

*Update: While it was a lot of fun holding hands, kissing on the train and having sex with him, I don't think he is someone I would have tolerated long term. It was nice while it lasted, but I don't think it's meant for us. I do think however, that my time with him has taught me that I'm not averse to a relationship anymore, and that I am definitely open to the idea of one now. 

I think I'm going to have to drop in for a check up soonish with my local women's health clinic, just to make sure I'm all right and clean. Part of this whole thing is to look after myself and take all the necessary precautions needed to stay safe. At any rate, I am happy to be exploring, but at this point I can definitely feel that I need to be safe first, and maybe start considering looking for someone more steady. More on this later. 

*Update two: Got my STI results last week, and I'm clean for everything! Whee! Pap smear soon.