A Wedding Vow

I'm dabbling somewhat in the strength of manifestations taking form in the rituals of witchcraft. Nothing crazy, just harmless motions like stirring a cup of tea clockwise with your intentions, or saying a prayer to Sister Moon to hear what is in your heart. I am also learning to connect with my intuition through my tarot practice, though I need to be more consistent about it. 

Today I'd like to try out something new: I want to manifest my husband by writing down the kind of vows that I would like him to read out on our wedding day. I have a near-perfect vision of what the wedding and dress will look like (Queen Anne neckline, ceremony before cocktail hour and a kickass band) but I haven't much thought of the groom. Not in the sense that I haven't thought of what my husband would be like, since I was just focused on finding "Mr Right" or a "partner".  It is more of highlighting what kind of qualities I would imagine my husband to be attracted to, and what would draw him to want to spend his life with me. 

And hey, if this doesn't work, it will have been a decent writing exercise. 

Here we go: 

My dearest Meg,

    One day I am going to read these vows back to you, on an anniversary many many years from now. I want future me to remember what current me is feeling. The jitteriness in my hands. The herculean will it is taking not to throw up on my shoes. The glow in my heart. The reassuring knowledge that I am looking at the person I have been searching for. 

    When we met, I did not have a lightbulb moment like they do in the movies. It was not love at first sight, though I thought you were certainly the most interesting person in the room. No, what I felt when we met was a profound sense of "There you are. I have been looking for you." I am convinced that we have loved each other across many lives, and how lucky I am to have found you again in this one. 

    In you, is my home. You are the one my heart and mind take refuge in. I love the way your presence has brightened up every corner of my existence, from the dinosaur guarding our tissues (Guys, this is real. The dinosaur's name is Emmett.), to the quietest moments we share over a hot drink. It doesn't hurt either that you are an actual wizard in the kitchen. I am admitting this to you now, in front of everyone: I called my mom to ask for her ring the first night you made me your grandma's adobo. Right mom? 

    There is no lack of sunshine when you are around. From you, I have learned to find the beauty and joy in the little things. More importantly, I learned to share them with others. 

    Your capacity for love still takes my breath away. Whether it's the love you have for your students, your family and even our cats, I count myself lucky to even have a fraction of what you share. There are people whose lives you have changed because you showed them love.  I adore this in you, and it is what draws me to you time and time again. This is where your true beauty lies, and it is the kind that will never fade. 

    Though goddamn it, who told you you could walk God's green earth looking like a whole damn snack? 

Joking aside...I am still in awe of how I can only have eyes for you, no matter who else is in the room. 

    I so look forward to the rest of this lifetime with you. This is my vow, with all of our friends and family as witnesses: Ours is going to be a home filled with laughter and love. I  promise to love you more than I love you today and more every day after that. I promise to choose you, to choose us even when it's more convenient to be selfish. I promise to be your partner in this thing we call life, in every conceivable sense of the word. I promise to encourage the very best of you, just as I know you will do the same for me. 

Now this bit is for future me, when I read this again at our Golden Anniversary: Take a deep breath, raise a glass to your beautiful wife and enjoy the feeling of being the luckiest man in the world. 

To my beautiful wife, Meg. You are my heart. I love you.